Tradwife Anxiety Nosebleed Candle

Tradwife Anxiety Nosebleed Candle

From the Chris Galletta Signature Candle Collection

For the woman whose Enneagram type is “casserole,” there’s Tradwife Anxiety Nosebleed—a satirical scent tribute to high-functioning denial, cream-of-something dinners, and one too many Pinterest boards labeled “Biblical Homemaking.”

This frosted glass candle delivers the unmistakable aroma of ironed table linens, silent resentment, and crockpot shame. Elegant enough to display, absurd enough to raise eyebrows, and comforting enough to burn during a self-care Sunday that ends with quiet sobbing on a freshly mopped floor.

"Scent" Profile

Top: Earnest misreadings of Eckhart Tolle

Middle: Crockpot full of shame and ranch packets

Base: Marital silence, lightly dusted with nutmeg

Candle Details

11 oz frosted glass vessel with maple wood lid

Hand-poured in small batches

Natural vegan wax blend: apricot, coconut, and soy

Eco-friendly wooden wick for a subtle crackle

Phthalate-free fragrance oils for a clean scent

Crisp label design that looks good next to a devotional or a bottle of wine

Why People Love It

Because irony smells amazing. Whether you're planning your next themed dinner or disassociating in a half-clean kitchen, this candle adds a warm glow to your carefully curated breakdown. Also great for wrapping around your smutty beach read when the in-laws visit.

Perfect For

Domestic minimalists with a flair for chaos

Friends with curated Pinterest trauma

Ex-vangelicals who miss casseroles but not doctrine

Gift-givers who understand nuance, irony, and the Midwest